February 13, 2008...7:39 pm

Smile!

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Happy Face!

The above is an IHOP “happy face.” In my lifetime, I have served 345 of these. Give or take a few.

As a teenager I worked at IHOP. On Thursdays. If I worked there now, in a society sensitive to the needs of those in the customer-service industry, they’d call me a “pancake artist,” but alas this was 1998 and such new-age thinking had not yet been successfully implemented. Unless you lived on the West Coast. Where they also regularly ate hummus.

Thursday night was “balloonimal” night. A clown named Fred would come in and make the kiddies balloons in the shape of various animals. By various I mean three. He had talent enough to create exactly three animals: giraffe, dog, bird.

If you were a small child and didn’t like one of those, you were SOL. I suspect Fred didn’t lack ability, just ambition. I never really saw him practice his craft in his downtime.

In fact, mostly, I saw Fred smoking weed with the cooks.

But maybe that was just artistic exploration.

1 Comment

  • Balloonimal is such a great word.

    It seems to me it could also be a kind of mystery meat.

    “Yeah, I’ll have balloonimal on rye with lettuce and mustard, hold the mayo!”


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